Motherhood, Rewritten: Beyond the Narrative of Struggle

For the longest time, motherhood has been framed through a single, dominant story… one of struggle, sacrifice, exhaustion, and constant presence. It is a narrative many of us inherited without question. And if we are honest, it is also the narrative we have learned to bond over as we share the struggles of our own mothers and of ourselves as mothers. The tiredness. The guilt. The feeling of never quite doing enough for our children.

I remember when I first stepped into motherhood while building my career. There were moments I carried a lot of guilt… not being at every school drop-off, missing a few pickups (I'm lying - missing a lot of the pick-ups), not sitting in every audience at every sports game or concert. There was an unspoken expectation that a “good mother” is always physically present. And when you don’t meet that expectation, the weight of it can sit heavily on you.

But over time, I have come to challenge that thinking and rewrite my own story.

I rewrote my own story and success because, to me, motherhood didn't fit the boxes society deems normal. And I rewrote the story, as I don’t believe motherhood was ever meant to be reduced to a checklist of presence. I don’t believe it was designed to be lived through constant depletion. And I certainly don’t believe that doing everything alone is the measure of love.

In motherhood, I’ve learned it is deeply personal. It is what each woman makes of it. It is about finding a rhythm that works for your life, your child, and your reality. For some, that rhythm includes being present at every moment. For others, it includes building support systems… whether that is family, an au pair, a family driver, a partner, or structured routines that allow life to function with a sense of ease.

• None of these choices is “less than.”

• None of them diminishes the love, the care, or the intention behind raising a child.

In fact, there is something powerful about a mother who chooses alignment over expectation. A mother who understands that her well-being is not separate from her child’s well-being. A mother who builds a life that allows her to show up not just physically but emotionally, mentally, and sustainably.

We have, for too long, normalised the idea that motherhood must be hard to be meaningful. That if it is not exhausting, then it is not being done “properly.” And so we gather in conversations that reinforce this belief, relating to each other through how much we are struggling, how little we are sleeping, and how stretched we feel.

But what if we began to shift that? What if we created space to also relate through the goodness of motherhood? Through the moments where things work. Through the systems that support us. Through the seasons where we feel present, joyful, and at peace with how we are showing up. What if we normalised mothers who are well and mothers who are supported? Mothers who have created lives that allow them to show up fully in the moments that matter.

Because the truth is, children do not only benefit from mothers who are present at every event. They benefit from mothers who are well. Mothers who have the capacity to give, to guide, and to nurture without being constantly depleted.

Don't get me wrong, this is not a dismissal of the hard moments. They will always exist. But they are not the only measure of motherhood. This Mother’s Day, perhaps the invitation is to rewrite the narrative.

• To release the guilt attached to doing things differently.

• To honour the unique rhythm that works for your life.

• To embrace support without apology.

• And to recognise that motherhood can be both responsible and joyful.

Because motherhood is not meant to be a constant state of survival. It is meant to be a life. And every mother has the right to build a version of that life that works for her… and for her child.

Happy Mother’s Day to every mother finding her own rhythm. 🤍

Yours in motherhood with alternative systems,

The Business Doctor Keitumetse Lekaba